i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
