Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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