were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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