new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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