And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
How does it feel to date your dad?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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