I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I look better un-naked...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
