Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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