roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I wear drunk well.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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