I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
