I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
