I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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