Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
