Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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