Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
