OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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