Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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