my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
