he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
