just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
