Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
