Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
