dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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