if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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