someone threw a dead crab at me
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
