Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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