A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
