Plan B is the new Plan A
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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