I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
