just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
