I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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