he thought i was a dude.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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