I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
