Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
