a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
