I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
