I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
it was like eating out sand paper
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
