and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
