So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
