My hand turned me down
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
