we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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