he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
