so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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