peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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