I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
