Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
