No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
