it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
