now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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