i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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