I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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