Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
