Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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